Communicate to your unborn baby

Your womb is already rich in sound -- the beating of your heart, the rhythmic swoosh of the placenta, even the gurgles of your stomach are music to your baby's ears.

The ear, already functional by the 16th week of pregnancy, is an incredibly sensual organ. Speaking, singing and touching your baby through the womb all provide ways to begin your relationship with your unborn child. Express your love. Your baby is listening (and learning too).

Consider these fun and easy ways to promote your bond with your unborn baby:

1. Talk to your baby Massaging your womb gently and talking softly to your unborn child is not new. Mothers have done it throughout time. Dads, too, can get acquainted with their baby prenatally, by talking through the waters, while gently massaging your belly with cream or oils.
Many mothers report feeling silly, at first, talking out loud to their babies in the womb. But, in private, you will easily overcome your initial embarrassment. Save time to talk to your baby, in the bath, or before you go to sleep. Make it a habit once or twice during the day to say something loving out loud. And why not ask your partner for a "good night" massage and verbal expressions of love and encouragement to your little one on the inside?

2. "Touch" your baby. Push gently on your baby and you will likely get a push back! While there is no need to prod and poke, do gently touch your baby through the womb. In the last month of pregnancy, you are likely to be able to see a heel which ripples across your abdomen. A father can also push gently, to find a foot or shoulder, and the baby pushes back, automatically responding to your touch. Feeling your baby respond to your touch, while in the womb, can be very thrilling, when it occurs!

3. Play music and sing to your baby. Music is thought to be pre-linguistic and contributes to your baby's foundation for language skills. Listening to music yourself, and singing tunes you enjoy can provide healthy stimulation for your child's development.

Your baby is learning to recognize the sounds of your voice and daddy's voice in the last month of pregnancy. When born, your baby will likely turn toward the sounds of your voices over others. Yes, indeed, your baby is listening to you already.

Postpartum Depression

What is depression?

Depression can be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods. But true clinical depression is a mood disorder in which feelings of sadness, loss, anger, or frustration interfere with everyday life for an extended time. Depression can be mild, moderate, or severe. The degree of depression, which your doctor can determine, influences how you are treated.

How common is depression during and after pregnancy?

Depression that occurs during pregnancy or within a year after delivery is called perinatal depression. The exact number of women with depression during this time is unknown. But researchers believe that depression is one of the most common complications during and after pregnancy. Often, the depression is not recognized or treated, because some normal pregnancy changes cause similar symptoms and are happening at the same time. Tiredness, problems sleeping, stronger emotional reactions, and changes in body weight may occur during pregnancy and after pregnancy. But these symptoms may also be signs of depression.

What causes depression?

There may be a number of reasons why a woman gets depressed. Hormone changes or a stressful life event, such as a death in the family, can cause chemical changes in the brain that lead to depression. Depression is also an illness that runs in some families. Other times, it’s not clear what causes depression.

Factors that may contribute to postpartum depression include:

• Feeling tired after delivery, broken sleep patterns, and not enough rest often keeps a new mother from regaining her full strength for weeks.
• Feeling overwhelmed with a new, or another, baby to take care of and doubting your ability to be a good mother.
• Feeling stress from changes in work and home routines. Sometimes, women think they have to be "super mom" or perfect, which is not realistic and can add stress.
• Having feelings of loss — loss of identity of who you are, or were, before having the baby, loss of control, loss of your pre-pregnancy figure, and feeling less attractive.
• Having less free time and less control over time. Having to stay home indoors for longer periods of time and having less time to spend with the your partner and loved ones.
  

Here are some other helpful tips:

• Try to get as much rest as you can. Try to nap when the baby naps.
• Stop putting pressure on yourself to do everything. Do as much as you can and leave the rest!
• Ask for help with household chores and nighttime feedings. Ask your husband or partner to bring the baby to you so you can breastfeed. If you can, have a friend, family member, or professional support person help you in the home for part of the day.
• Talk to your husband, partner, family, and friends about how you are feeling.
• Do not spend a lot of time alone. Get dressed and leave the house. Run an errand or take a short walk.
• Spend time alone with your husband or partner.
• Talk with other mothers, so you can learn from their experiences.
• Join a support group for women with depression. Call a local hotline or look in your telephone book for information and services.
• Don’t make any major life changes during pregnancy. Major changes can cause unneeded stress. Sometimes big changes cannot be avoided. When that happens, try to arrange support and help in your new situation ahead of time.

Fathers are pregnant too

Fathers have a unique role to play in their childrens lives. This begins from the moment of conception, and continues throughout the pregnancy - and of course beyond! Research has shown that the developing human-in-utero is profoundly affected by her environment and by the emotions of BOTH of his parents. Read here about how fathers can start making a difference to and building the relationship they have with their child.... before they are even born!

Get Educated

Once you find out that you are pregnant, the expectant father should - as soon as possible - get educated about what is ahead. Take the time right away to explore the resources that are available online, from your medical professional and from books. The more that you know about pregnancy now, the easier the next months will become.

Support, Support, Support

Providing support is the best thing a partner can do; support in decision-making, in doing extra things within the household and emotional support. Women, when they are pregnant, have a cocktail of hormones surging around in their veins and they can experience heightened emotions so you really have to go with it.
Showing an interest in your partner's day-to-day life and trying to understand what she is going through is equally important. However, she adds that many men also face challenges and fears during this time, so it is important that both partners nurture each other. "Both partners need to be attuned to each other and a lot of the attention does go to the pregnant mother.

The first trimester is a key stage. If there are to be any complications, this is the stage at which they are likely to manifest themselves. Frequently, the first trimester is the worst in terms of morning sickness and nausea. Remember that your partner's body is going through a pretty intense period of time - she is growing a baby. If she is fit, she will soon have to tone down the intensity of her workouts and switch to yoga or Pilates for the duration of the pregnancy. This is the precise time for you to start doing extra things around the house and offering to exercise together. Cooking is a great idea, provided that she can keep the food down and has not developed an aversion to the food she used to adore.

The second trimester is often referred to as the honeymoon phase since most of the first trimester discomforts will have subsided. Your partner's crankiness, fatigue and nausea will likely disappear, thus making this is a great time for a pre-baby vacation. Airplane flight is usually safe, so a surprise vacation might be in order.

The third trimester is generally when the weight becomes burdensome and the discomforts of pregnancy return. By the end of this trimester, your partner may be suffering from swollen ankles, fatigue, constipation and hemorrhoids. She may be uncomfortable with how she looks and with her limited mobility. Everything will become tedious: walking, standing and even sitting. Be patient and pick up the slack by helping out around the house more than ever. This is also the time when nesting begins, which is the powerful urge pregnant women get to clean and prepare the house for the arrival of the baby. Be warned that this urge only intensifies as the due date approaches. Show your partner that you are also excited by impending parenthood and offer to help set up the nursery. Better yet, go shopping with her for all baby essentials. And don't forget to attend every prenatal class and play the role of supportive partner.

Studies show that babies in the womb can hear outside noises (and voices) as early as the fourteenth week. Your baby will be familiar with your partner's voice because she is carrying the baby. There is no reason why you shouldn't spend at least five minutes a day speaking to her womb or even reading a book! This will help you forge a closer bond with your tot months before he or she enters the real world. You'll also note that by this time junior kicks quite a bit - this is truly a wonderful experience that you should take the time to enjoy.